A new beginning....

When I was a child I used to wear glasses. I didn't like wearing them but I had to in order to see clearly. Eventually I got contacts and that was better but I still wished that I could see without any extra help. Eventually I had surgery on my eyes and that was such a blessing because after that I nearly had 20/20 vision...and yet. At times I still felt like my vision was a little blurry....until one day. I was in the hospital with Tina and because of everything that had been going on my emotions were high and my heart was heavy with sadness. As I sat in the silence staring out the window tears started to fill my eyes. I didn't try to hold back any of the tears or wipe them away and so they flowed freely...and then I noticed something. All of a sudden I could see clearer than ever before. Everything was so sharp and crisp and clear. I realized that the tears apparently caused some sort of refraction in how the light entered my eyes (similar to glasses or contacts). It was in that moment that I felt like God spoke to my heart and I realized that so many times in life our "vision" in clouded by things that really don't matter... and then pain enters our life and brings clarity to that which is most important....those we love and He who loves us more than we could ever imagine...our Heavenly Father.

Update: All of our prayers have been answered! Tina is finally Healed! This morning Tina took her last breath and is now dancing, running, laughing and smiling. I can just picture her running into the arms of Jesus. He runs towards her and lifts her up into the air and then spins her around and around like a little girl. Her hair is blowing, her eyes are glistening with joy, her smile is brighter and more vibrant than ever before. There are no more tears...no more pain...no more sickness. I can only imagine the wonders that she is seeing right now! Oh how I miss her already and yet my heart is at peace knowing that my Tina, my beautiful wife, the loving mother of Katie, my best friend is finally home in Heaven. I am assured of that fact because many years ago Tina gave her life to Jesus Christ and ever since then she has been a shining reflection of His love. Tina leaves behind her a LEGACY of this love that will last forever and so this is not the end...it is a NEW BEGINNING.

I believe with all my heart that if Tina could speak to you one last time from this blog this is what she would say..."Give your heart to Jesus and He will give you life. Do it today. He will heal you like He healed me :)" Love, Tina

Praise be to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. Amen.

- a messenger of God, a servant of Jesus Christ and the most blessed husband and father in the world:

Aaron martin (husband of Tina Lin Martin and father to Katie Lin Martin).

Trusting God

Today I had the chance to talk to the youth group at my church and it was such an honor. The message that God put on my heart to share with them for awhile now was about TRUST. Here are the highlights of that message:


WHO should we trust?
- We can trust others in our life that we are close to, but our greatest trust should be in God (Proverbs 3:5-6)


WHAT is trust?
- Trust is accepting God's will for our life, NO MATTER WHAT! (Luke 22:42 and Daniel 3:17-18)

- Trust is not based on how we feel (our feelings are unreliable and too changeable)

- Trust is not based on the "results" of what we pray for (God is not our ATM machine or a genie in a bottle to grant our every wish)

- Trust is not about pretending like we are fine when we are not (we need to be genuine with others and with God)


WHEN should we trust?
- Even when life doesn't make sense (Isaiah 55:8-9)

- Even when life hurts (Hebrews 11:35-39)


WHY should we trust?
- Because God loves His children (Romans 8:8-39)


HOW should we trust?
- Trust is action based and involves taking a step of faith (Saying that we trust but not acting on it is not trust at all). (Philippians 4:4-6)


RESULTS of not trusting God
- We might have false beliefs about God when He doesn't answer our prayers the way we want Him to (e.g. We falsely believe that He doesn't love us, He didn't answer our prayer because we didn't have enough faith or even that He doesn't exist)

- We become isolated from God (e.g. we get angry with Him and blame Him for our pain)

- We hold onto these false beliefs and the lies of Satan about who God is (John 8:44)


RESULTS of trusting God
- We have God's supernatural peace and security (Philippians 4:7)


Update on Tina:
- On October 9, 2012 (my 40th birthday) Tina and I went to her doctor and found out that her cancer was returning despite her treatments. Her doctors told us that she probably had 3-4 months to live
- We cried, prayed, cried out to God, fasted, kept praying and God gave us His peace
- On November 27th Tina started Hospice care here at the house
- On November 29th we were informed that Tina would probably die within the next week
- Today, December 2nd, my faith and trust in God was put to the test as I left Tina at the house to go to my church to talk to the youth group about Trusting God. The nurses could give me no guarantee that Tina would be alive when I got home.
- Although we continue to pray for a miracle, we cry out "Father not my will but Yours be done" and we pray that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ would get all the glory in this situation whether Tina lives or dies.
- In the end....in spite of all the pain...we continue to trust God and accept His will for our life... NO MATTER WHAT!

- aaron

Adversity

There are some days I feel that I could just embrace Adversity with open arms - just trying to control it with God's strength, but other days I just want to kick it in its rear, but I know without those experiences I would not be the strong person I am today. Know that Adversity/Suffering is what gives you character, and character gives you hope...hope. (John 16:33)


This blog was hand written by Tina about 4 months ago, back on August 12, 2012 but it is just now being posted on this blog for the first time. This is the very last blog entry that Tina wrote in her journal.


Written by Tina and typed by Aaron


Update: As I am typing this blog for my beautiful wife, tears are streaming down my face not because I am sad but because I am so, so proud of Tina. This blog (although it was written almost 4 months ago) came at just the right time for me. My loving Father God and Savior Jesus Christ knew that I needed to read these exact words this morning. This has been the hardest week so far for so many reasons. This has been a week overflowing with adversity and suffering...and yet, it has also been a week full of hope and joy as I can feel my Lord drawing closer and closer to my side. I will give more specific details next week in the blog but until then please keep us in your prayers. We pour out our Father's love to you.

aaron

Our Donkey

Lord, I ask that you prepare Your words for me. Holy Spirit, speak into me the works and words that lay ahead.

Hear me as I pray, O LORD. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.” Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. (Psalm 27:7-10)

It seems it is always an uphill battle for the person with faith, while those who decide not to seek this life of struggles stay in the valley of satisfying themselves. I have learned that as a true believer I must walk in FAITH through ALL my struggles and learn to cry, fight my fleshly self and scream as I take 4 steps backwards and 3 steps forward! Ugh. Some days I just want to dismount myself off the donkey God provided for me; however, I know that it was and is a blessing to our family for we are able to be marketing advertisers for Christ from our donkey.

I pray that you too can see the blessing even when your faith doesn’t seem strong enough – know that God will never abandon you. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak and prepare your words and works for others to receive them.

This blog was hand written by Tina about 3 months ago, back on August 3, 2012 but it is just now being posted on this blog for the first time.


Written by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: This week, as in weeks past, has continued to be a roller coaster of ups and downs. Have you ever noticed that life seems to be that way? Just when everything is going "great", you get that phone call or something happens at work or in your family and then you are left wondering "what happened?" And then, just as quickly as the difficult times come, you turn around and life seems to go back to "normal" and all seems to be "well again." Well, this past week Tina has really been struggling both physically, cognitively and with bouts of pain. And yet...in the midst of all that we were able to truly give thanks yesterday for all of the amazing blessings in our life that God has given us. I pray that you too can look for and see all of the amazing blessings in your life that God has given you and that you will hold on tight to Him through all of the ups and downs in this life.

aaron

Happy Father's Day! - A Beautiful Portrait

The blog below was written by Tina about 4 months ago, back on June 15, 2012 but it is just now being posted for the first time.

My Katiebug is only four years old and I see what a gracious and precious bond that she and her Daddy have, one like I’ve never ever known before – when you see and hear them play. You can hear this angelic laughter and see the love their eyes exchange as they enjoy each other’s company. And yes her Daddy does tea parties, tutus and princesses and he is the King of our house, but Katie also recognizes that Christ is the King over all the earth including our home.

I truly enjoy watching her with her “Papa”, “Papi”, “Daddy”. Whatever the name is for the day you can truly see our Father God’s Bond that they have. I love watching her crawl into his arms, onto his shoulders and when something goes awry I love watching him “save her” and “nurture her” just as Jesus does for us – each and everyday.

I also want to remind you that those without a father today can celebrate too! Cry out to your Heavenly Father and Let Him know your deepest longings… “I do not say to you that I will request of the Father on your behalf; for the Father Himself loves you” – Jesus (John 16:26-27).

You know we as Christians have such a privilege of knowing that we can call on a Heavenly Father even when we don’t have an earthly one and our Heavenly Father loves us and is Faithful to us always and we know when we accept Him into our hearts and ask him to forgive our sins that we will always be assured that we will meet our Creator in Heaven and He will always meet our Father needs! He always takes a personal interest in our cries, our hurts, our heartaches. He loves us so much and loves to hear our laughter and loves to be close to us and near us.

If you’re a “Daddy”, “Papa”, “Papi” and know of someone that needs to hear your words to encourage them today call them up, visit them, love on them!

Love,

Your Abba Father

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: Life has truly been a whirlwind of events for us lately and God has proven to be faithful to us every step of the way. I will post more details soon. Praying that you keep your eyes on Christ each and everyday.

- A messenger of God

Who Am I?

I recently had a friend that was upset and deeply disappointed and hurt because they were not invited to an event that they felt they should have been privy to.

I suppose as human beings we think we are number one! We constantly think of only ourselves. We want to feel like we are important. For us women, we want to be the prettiest and most stylish. For you men, you want to be the champions, the winners, associated with the elite and higher class.

Now back to the story about my friend. After a day of sulking and mulling over the situation, they finally spoke to Christ about changing their heart and outlook on the situation so as not to become bitter or angry....and Christ's response to them was "I'm not invited to many occasions to which I wish I could be invited to."

Well that seemed to end that conversation quickly and quietly. It quickly dissipated and suddenly an overwhelming peace came over my friend as they realized that the Lord of the Earth cared to know their name and feel their hurt (as it says in the song by Casting Crowns entitled "Who Am I").

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done, Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are. I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind...

I just thank God that regardless of what sin I commit, whether it be pride, anger or bitterness that He always watches over me. So who am I to feel that I have the right to feel like I should be privy to certain situations when my God isn't even invited? Although He is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent He is not always called upon.

I pray that you will bring the struggles you are facing today to our Savior's attention and call upon Him for His forgiveness and help.

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: We have been doing better lately. Tina has had fewer large seizures over the summer and she is getting stronger with the help of some in-home occupational and physical therapy. We are so thankful for all your continued prayers and for the Lord's grace and strength He gives us each and every day that we call upon Him.

Current prayer needs: I am going back to work on Monday and Tina's mom will be going back home in 2 weeks. Tina hopefully will be receiving some support from a home health aide but that will only be for 1 hour a day. Please pray that Tina will continue to get stronger and more independent so that she can take care of herself during the day (going to the restroom, walking without falling, getting something to eat etc...). Please also pray for my family in Georgia as they are grieving the loss of my younger cousin Adam who recently died. I have so many wonderful memories of our childhood summers together and he will be missed dearly, although it warms my heart to know that he and my younger brother Jeremy are now hanging out in heaven.

Jars of Clay...

When I was much younger I made a ceramic mug at my school. When I started it was just a lump of clay, but when I was done shaping and molding the clay it was a new creation. I then learned that in order for it to be "useful" the teacher had to place it in a kiln to fire it. This reminds me of the verse in 2 Corinthians 4:7 that states "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." Just like that lump of clay, when we give our life to Christ he will shape us and mold us into a new creation...and just like that mug in order to be "useful" for Christ we as His followers will often go through many fiery trials in our lifetime. Check out this verse in 1 Peter 4:12-13 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed." I am also reminded of the concept that in order for a sword to be made sound it has to be placed into a refining fire to make it strong. During this season in our life, Tina and I know full well the pain that a fiery trial can bring....BUT we also know full well that our God is making us stronger through this and we feel so honored that He is using us as we share in His sufferings.

Reflection for you and me: Are we allowing God to use us for His glory and for His purpose? Are we just "pretty" jars sitting on a shelf (expecting only health, wealth and a lifetime free of any "inconvenience") or are we willing to go through fiery trials so that we can be vessels of His mercy and love used to bring refreshment to a thirsty world?

Update: Tina is doing much better today. Her pain and nausea are under control and she has been sleeping well too. She has also been doing well in her physical, occupational and speech therapy. Despite the continued trials we are doing well. We really are. In fact, just a few moments ago Tina and I were laughing hysterically about an inside joke that only she and I will ever know about :)

Follow our blog @ christslegacy.blogspot.com

p.s. This blog was inspired by Tina's blog entitled Broken Jar dated 8-4-2011. Go check it out and many of the other amazing blogs that she and God wrote together.

- A messenger of God

Arise!

Some of the two most powerful words that have ever been spoken are..."Talitha cumi". Unless you are fluent in Aramaic you may not know what these two words mean. In Mark 5:41 Jesus spoke these two words to a little girl that had died but He declared emphatically that she was only sleeping. These two words mean "Little girl, Arise!". Well...although I can't prove it I would like to think that Jesus whispered these same words to Tina as she just awoke from surgery. "Tina, Arise"! She is now awake and doing great! Praise God :)

More updates to come tomorrow...

If there is anyone reading this who may be "sleeping" spiritually I believe that Jesus would speak those same two words to you. "Arise ___________"!

If you do not know the amazing love of Christ give your heart to Him today and awake to your new life in Him! :)

If you haven't seen the video Tina did recently you can check it out @
http://vimeo.com/35237369

Check out our blog @ christslegacy.blogspot.com

- A messenger of God