Friday, July 24, 2009

The same yesterday, today, and forever...

Have you ever had one of those moments in time where you felt that you just wanted to give up and you no longer felt purposeful(tears stream down my face as I write these words)...well that was me yesterday. I felt the enemy attacking my mind, my thoughts, and my sense of self. But as God shows up...He always reminds me of who I am in Him and reminds me that I am His child...and that I have a purpose in life.

Yesterday afternoon (after a long day...actually a long week of unpacking our new home that we moved into)...I stumbled upon a poster that was made for Aaron and me at the time that we were in the hospital (some of our dear friends brought it by when I was at St. Luke's in March). The day they brought it by...I vaguely remember (only for the fact that I was very medicated at the time and it was my first day out of ICU...however this was the same night that I became very ill and put back in ICU(3/6/09)...see Aaron's post on 3/9/09 for more details) however I do remember them bringing the poster and being excited about reading the encouraging notes on the poster. Well ever since we came home from the hospital I had been asking about the poster and its whereabouts...well since we moved (it's funny how things resurface when you move...LOL) we found it. I sat for awhile yesterday and read all of the notes on the poster and one by one each one of them encouraged my spirit and reminded me of why I continue to be here (just writing these words brought tears to my eyes...just because it reminds me of how wonderful and sovereign my God truly is). It's funny how God uses things and people to always remind you that He is always here watching over you and always taking care of you.

Last night when I was putting Katie down for bed, she was laying down in my arms (sucking her thumb...LOL) and staring into my one point she reached up and gave me a few kisses on my lips and then stroked the side of my face. At that moment God spoke to my spirit and I felt him telling me...this is another reason I have you be a wonderful mom to Katie and to raise her up to glorify me (this made me shed tears as I held her). Katie looked at me and wiped my tears as they streamed down my humbled I felt that God would use my 16 month-old daughter to show me His Love and Compassion.

For those of you reading this entry...I hope that if you ever question God's purpose for your life and reason for being here...know that God is always there for you and He created you for a purpose. He is always here for you and will never leave you nor forsake you. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). (FYI...this scripture was written on "the poster" by Dodie Osteen (Joel Osteen's mother)...and was my inspiration for my entry today).

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


Well I went to my neuropsychologist appointment on Monday and they conducted basically IQ measures, memory and verbal learning tasks, fine motor dexterity tests, and an assortment of a few other tests. Tuesday I received my results. Basically the neuropsychologists stated that I am doing amazing well for where I am at. She saw improvements in my fine motor dexerity (the last tests she took were when I was at TIRR in rehab); however, she stated those scores still show that I am well below where I should be (in terms of my left side).

She stated she sees some memory issues, but is hopeful that with some strategies and recommendations she has it will help me.

Other than that she seemed to think all else was going really well and seemed hopeful of my full recovery. Praise God for the great news!