God has begun the second chapter of our journey (you know there always has to be more than one chapter in a book...if there wasn't...what kind of book would that be?) :) As some of you know about two weeks ago, we heard from our neurooncologist the news that they had seen a "progression" in the cells of my brain. Basically to sum it all up...they were telling us that the cancer was back.
Now I should mention that about five months ago, God began speaking to me through the devotionals and scriptures that I had been reading, that a "war" (battle) was coming. Many of the scriptures spoke of the different people and the battles they were in. Truthfully, I wasn't really sure what was coming or what it all meant. I thought perhaps that with Aaron and I training for this half-marathon, in January, that there would be mental and physical battles (e.g. tiredness, knee injuries, etc.) that would come our way. One of the devotionals that I read during that period of time, spoke of this author battling cancer and how she and her husband prayed and believed that after chemo and radiation, that she would Immediately be healed. Day in and day out they prayed...one, two, three days, a week, two weeks, and a month passed by...and no healing occurred. She asked, "Why was God silent? We did what the Bible told us to do." But there was still no healing in her body. Later she had to have a bone marrow transplant and was believing in faith that she would be healed. After 85 long days of going for blood tests, etc she still wasn't healed. After 125 days she was released to go home and still wasn't healed, but her blood counts seemed to be going in the right direction. After her experiences she learned to understand the sound of God's silence. She began to realize that what she wanted wasn't always what God wanted for her life. Towards the end of the devotional she says "through this searching for what to do when God is silent in our lives, we went back to John 11:4." This verse says: "This sickness will not end in death. No it is for God's glory so that God's son may be glorified through it." In that moment I truly felt God telling me (before our June 2010 check-up) that whatever happened He would not allow me to die from this disease. In June, we went to our check-up (with me silently thinking...I just know he is going to tell me that my cancer is back), but to my suprise he told us all looked fine and well. In the back of my mind, I thought maybe I was reading you all wrong Lord?, but after that I just let it go and moved on and was happy about our great news.
That all brings us up to our 3 month check-up on September 7th. After all the chit chat and talking...he tells us about the cancer coming back. I knew then that IT (the war against the cancer) was coming...I will be real with you and tell you that my first thought was "...again." But then God reminded me...I got you through this last one...I will get you through this one too. The doctor then gave us the option of chemo or radiation, but when we asked him what he would choose...he said chemo. We told him that we would pray and think about it and get back to him on our decision. Finally, Wednesday (one full day later) after much thought and prayer we decided to go with radiation, despite his recommendation. His nurse let us know that she would send in the consultation to the radiation department and they would call us early the next week. After waiting until Thursday of the next week...I called to check on the status of everything and the lady on the line says that my doctor's nurse had been out all week and wouldn't return until the next Monday, but said she would look into it. She called me back later and mentions for some unknown reason my paperwork was misplaced and was caught up in the financial department, but that she had taken care of it and the radiation department should be calling me. That evening I went to a nutrition class with my friend and they just so happened to be talking about cancer and alternative, natural therapies to combat it. After the class and much prayer, thought, research, prayer, research, thought, research, research, and prayer, we thought about what God was truly speaking to our hearts about what treatment I should go through for this annoying little thing in my head (that thinks it can just take over) :) . LOL. Aaron and I decided against our original decision, of radiation, and have decided to try natural, alternative therapies.
Now that I have caught you all up to date...I have to say I don't think that it was a coincidence that this morning out of nowhere I happened to find THE notecard that I had written the scripture that one of my best friends shared with me when "My war" began with this brain tumor in February 2009. In case you don't recall it or you have just began reading this blog...it was 2 Cor I: 8-11 and it reads like this"8 We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters,[a] about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead. 10 And he did rescue us from mortal danger, and he will rescue us again. We have placed our confidence in him, and he will continue to rescue us. 11 And you are helping us by praying for us. Then many people will give thanks because God has graciously answered so many prayers for our safety."
When I read this entry it reminded me of God's faithfulness of bringing me through this past battle of my brain surgery and how God was faithful to have rescued me from "mortal danger (my near death experience)" and how he will rescue me again and again and again. This scripture assures me that I will live through this disease...no matter how many battles I have to go through...the victory HAS BEEN WON!
I read a devotional called "The War Mode," the morning after we made our decision about trying alternative/natural therapies to battle this cancer,it truly gave me a final peace about our decision.
The devotional spoke about a guy's experience when he was a senior in highschool and how, even though he wasn't a confrontational guy, he found himself in a situation where a guy came after him and began attacking him. The guy "quickly realized that if the attack was going to end, it would be because I put my whole heart into fighting back." After reading this devotional, it made me accept that I have no choice right now but to fight. Instead of being fearful (which was my initial thought and reaction) that I have to put my whole energy into fighting this enemy called cancer.
This is where the "war mode" begins. It's amazing to me what God has put inside of us and how he has given us this amazing and supernatural grace over our lives, but we have to choose to accept it. Once we accept this grace, it is then that we can discover what we can truly go through. Once we surrender our hearts, minds, and soul to God, we can find God's grace annointing us to fight the fight of faith...and the fight of our lives.
So I say to you today...keep your eyes focused on God and His word...take spiritual authority over your life and speak the Word of God with faith...switch yourself into the "war mode" so that your life will forever change. Don't be complacent, but stand up and fight the good fight...and watch the amazing things that God will do in your life (and mine).
I love you all dearly and pray that your day is as awesome as my day has begun...with inspiration and the spirit to fight against all that will try and come against you today and the days to come!!! --Con Mucho Amor, Tina
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