Adversity

There are some days I feel that I could just embrace Adversity with open arms - just trying to control it with God's strength, but other days I just want to kick it in its rear, but I know without those experiences I would not be the strong person I am today. Know that Adversity/Suffering is what gives you character, and character gives you hope...hope. (John 16:33)


This blog was hand written by Tina about 4 months ago, back on August 12, 2012 but it is just now being posted on this blog for the first time. This is the very last blog entry that Tina wrote in her journal.


Written by Tina and typed by Aaron


Update: As I am typing this blog for my beautiful wife, tears are streaming down my face not because I am sad but because I am so, so proud of Tina. This blog (although it was written almost 4 months ago) came at just the right time for me. My loving Father God and Savior Jesus Christ knew that I needed to read these exact words this morning. This has been the hardest week so far for so many reasons. This has been a week overflowing with adversity and suffering...and yet, it has also been a week full of hope and joy as I can feel my Lord drawing closer and closer to my side. I will give more specific details next week in the blog but until then please keep us in your prayers. We pour out our Father's love to you.

aaron

Our Donkey

Lord, I ask that you prepare Your words for me. Holy Spirit, speak into me the works and words that lay ahead.

Hear me as I pray, O LORD. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.” Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. (Psalm 27:7-10)

It seems it is always an uphill battle for the person with faith, while those who decide not to seek this life of struggles stay in the valley of satisfying themselves. I have learned that as a true believer I must walk in FAITH through ALL my struggles and learn to cry, fight my fleshly self and scream as I take 4 steps backwards and 3 steps forward! Ugh. Some days I just want to dismount myself off the donkey God provided for me; however, I know that it was and is a blessing to our family for we are able to be marketing advertisers for Christ from our donkey.

I pray that you too can see the blessing even when your faith doesn’t seem strong enough – know that God will never abandon you. Ask the Holy Spirit to speak and prepare your words and works for others to receive them.

This blog was hand written by Tina about 3 months ago, back on August 3, 2012 but it is just now being posted on this blog for the first time.


Written by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: This week, as in weeks past, has continued to be a roller coaster of ups and downs. Have you ever noticed that life seems to be that way? Just when everything is going "great", you get that phone call or something happens at work or in your family and then you are left wondering "what happened?" And then, just as quickly as the difficult times come, you turn around and life seems to go back to "normal" and all seems to be "well again." Well, this past week Tina has really been struggling both physically, cognitively and with bouts of pain. And yet...in the midst of all that we were able to truly give thanks yesterday for all of the amazing blessings in our life that God has given us. I pray that you too can look for and see all of the amazing blessings in your life that God has given you and that you will hold on tight to Him through all of the ups and downs in this life.

aaron

I'm in love with your Boss!

That would be with your Heavenly Father. 1 John 4:8 "But anyone who does not love, does not know God, for God is love." Love is one of God's attributes, but Love (in and of itself) is not God.

Long ago the Lord said to Israel "I have loved you my people with an everlasting love. With an unfailing love I have drawn you to Myself." (Jeremiah 31:3)

Real Agape love is a God like quality that never refers to romantic feelings or sexual love. Only if we have God in our hearts can we have Agape love.

Someone once said "Love is selfless, humble, a service to meet the needs of another person, no matter how lowly or menial that service may seem and no matter how undeserving the recipient is of that love." As a matter of fact, in John 13:35 Jesus said "Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are My disciples."

I'm all smiles and filled with such joy to be able to say that I am in love with the boss of those who have accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior. Your boss's love just baffles me most days. For no matter what I do, He continues to love me and not only does He love me, but He forgives me and has told me and shown me the deepness of Agape love He has towards us. A love from deep within. One that is indescribable. A total love that goes beyond the depths of simple kindness or worldy love!

1 Corinthians 13:13 says that there are three things that will endure: faith, hope and love - and the greatest of these is Love.

Remember to show others your Agape love as Jesus would - no matter how menial the task or how undeserving the person seems. It is showing them how much you love their Creator and Boss. Whether it be pouring them a bowl of cereal, helping them get dressed, lying them in bed to sleep or putting on their shoes in the morning no matter how exhausted you seem to be. Now that's Agape love.

In Romans 5:5 there are all three members of the Trinity. The Father sent His Son to bridge the gap between us, and the Father and Son sent the Holy Spirit to fill our life with love and to enable us to live by His power. See also Acts 1:8

God has given us His precious and bountiful gift of Love! How can we even consider giving Him less than our best?

We have to remember that God is the Creator of all human beings and that means that we were created by Him but there is a difference between being created by Him and being born into a Family.

As Christians we should have an Agape love for our Creator and the only way to understand what that means is to deeply and most intimately seek His Word and His face on a daily basis. Be sure to prepare your heart to receive the opportunities that God will lay in front of you and be open to them.

We should have an overwhelming respect for our Father God. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7)

Our teaching pastor described fear of God as having a reverence, awe and respect to our Boss. Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways (Psalms 128:1-6).

This blog was hand written by Tina about 4 months ago, back on July 17, 2012 but it is just now being posted on this blog for the first time.

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: Recently my mom came into town to help out Tina, Katie and me and it has been a real blessing. Tina and I have now had more time lately to enjoy each other's company and I am loving it. Tina is continuing to struggle both physically and cognitively but as I stare deep into her eyes I am still able to see the same woman I fell in love with so many years ago.

People have asked me at times how they can help out and I always tell them that the best thing they can do is to pray and we are so thankful to have some many prayers covering our lives. In addition to prayer, I have included a hyperlink below to a Care Calendar that was setup for Tina by our friends at church. There are some practical things on there such as bringing meals and sitting with Tina. If you are interested check out the following link: http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=YCQY0988

Praying that you experience the amazing Love of our Father that Tina wrote about, Aaron

Conquering the Promised Land

The blog below was written by Tina about 4 months ago, back on July 10, 2012 but it is just now being posted for the first time.

God called Joshua to lead his people to lead the nation across the Jordan River to possess the land He had already given Israel. We too need to cross that land and have the faith that Joshua and the people of Israel had. We need to leave our old lives. We need to leave our old lives and have faith that God will continue to fulfill all that He has promised.

God will deliver us from our difficult burdens and we must be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:6-7). If we will only obey all the laws of Moses and do not turn away from them, then you will be successful in everything you do.

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: It's been a pretty good week overall so far. Although Tina is still struggling both physically and cognitively her resolve to keep pressing forward inspires me. I am so blessed to call her my beautiful bride and like I told her, I would marry her all over again even knowing all of the struggles and trials that would lie ahead. I love you always Tee xoxo - Aaron

Happy Father's Day! - A Beautiful Portrait

The blog below was written by Tina about 4 months ago, back on June 15, 2012 but it is just now being posted for the first time.

My Katiebug is only four years old and I see what a gracious and precious bond that she and her Daddy have, one like I’ve never ever known before – when you see and hear them play. You can hear this angelic laughter and see the love their eyes exchange as they enjoy each other’s company. And yes her Daddy does tea parties, tutus and princesses and he is the King of our house, but Katie also recognizes that Christ is the King over all the earth including our home.

I truly enjoy watching her with her “Papa”, “Papi”, “Daddy”. Whatever the name is for the day you can truly see our Father God’s Bond that they have. I love watching her crawl into his arms, onto his shoulders and when something goes awry I love watching him “save her” and “nurture her” just as Jesus does for us – each and everyday.

I also want to remind you that those without a father today can celebrate too! Cry out to your Heavenly Father and Let Him know your deepest longings… “I do not say to you that I will request of the Father on your behalf; for the Father Himself loves you” – Jesus (John 16:26-27).

You know we as Christians have such a privilege of knowing that we can call on a Heavenly Father even when we don’t have an earthly one and our Heavenly Father loves us and is Faithful to us always and we know when we accept Him into our hearts and ask him to forgive our sins that we will always be assured that we will meet our Creator in Heaven and He will always meet our Father needs! He always takes a personal interest in our cries, our hurts, our heartaches. He loves us so much and loves to hear our laughter and loves to be close to us and near us.

If you’re a “Daddy”, “Papa”, “Papi” and know of someone that needs to hear your words to encourage them today call them up, visit them, love on them!

Love,

Your Abba Father

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: Life has truly been a whirlwind of events for us lately and God has proven to be faithful to us every step of the way. I will post more details soon. Praying that you keep your eyes on Christ each and everyday.

- A messenger of God

"I'm too young!"

The blog below was written by Tina about 2 months ago, back on June 13, 2012 but it is just now being posted for the first time.

“O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!” The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!” Jeremiah 1:6-8

"Go get up and get dressed. Go out and tell them whatever I tell you to say....For see today I have made you strong like a fortified city that cannot be captured, like an iron pillar or a bronze wall." Jeremiah 1:17-18

I know my life is in the hands of our Creator and I know that I have nothing to fear and when my desperate times come I must remain loyal to God regardless of the circumstances. Over these past couple of weeks I have had several partial seizures which have caused significant weakness on the left side of my body and the enemy has tried to hold captive negative thoughts in my mind about always being in this condition. But I know that God's Son died on the cross for all my sickness and diseases and promised to restore all my wounds; therefore my hope and strength is in Him, no matter how bleak my circumstances look.

I don't believe that I posted details about how difficult it was for me right before surgery in February 2012. Many days I couldn't read, write, listen to others speak to me, listen to music or TV. My eyes were very sensitive to light; therefore I basically sat or laid down all day, every day for two months. This was difficult because I couldn't play with Katie knowing that she might trigger my seizures given the above symptoms. The enemy used those times to tell me that my tumor was growing and I would soon pass away.

Yesterday came to that point again, however I did not allow myself to enter nor stay in those thoughts. I know God's promises. He is my strength and when I am weak He is there to lift me up high on wings like eagles. Isaiah 40:31

Encourage someone with your Creator's words. Tell them that God has equipped them for all that He has created them for. Let them know that they have the strength God has promised them. Let them know God is giving them His words to speak to others for His direction in their lives.

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: Everyday people ask me how we are doing. I always appreciate their concern although I usually don't know how to answer that question. Unless someone has experienced it firsthand, I just can't seem to find the words to describe what this is like. For example, in the update section following her blog 2 weeks ago I was praising God because Tina had not had a major seizure in over 3 months (it was back in early June that she had her last one). Well...24 hours after writing that update Tina had 2 major seizures on a Saturday morning while hanging out with Katie and myself. I was saddened and disappointed to say the least. There were no words for that moment...and yet even in that moment I found myself able to praise God in spite of this setback. I was able to praise God in spite of the apparent irony. I was able to praise God in spite of my feelings. I was able to praise God simply because He deserves my praise and I love Him no matter what! So you can see why it is so hard for me to put into a few words how we are doing. I still don't have the words....and I am still praising God :)

Distinct Tools

We must trust that God has imparted/bestowed to us the power that He wants us to have to do His will in our lives. It seems now more than ever I have to really embrace that God is using me as a tool in His ministry in individual and markedly distinct ways. Just as he called Jeremiah to confront and correct the nation of Israel in the divine call that he had received (Jeremiah 1:8). Tasks in life can seem daunting especially when we don't trust that the Lord has equipped us with all that we need.

Recently there have been moments that I felt I wouldn't rise to the task God was calling me too, even though I believed and knew that God wouldn't give me more than I could bare with His help.

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: We have definitely had our share of ups and downs lately. Praise God, Tina still has not had a major seizure since earlier in the summer. She has however been struggling with extreme fatigue and weakness on the left-side of her body which makes it very difficult for her to do even ordinary daily activities like dressing and walking. This is complicated by the fact that for most of the day she is home alone because I am back at work. As a result she has had several falls lately. We are working with the insurance company on getting an aide to come out to the house for most of the day. Please keep these things in your prayers. Despite all of these challenges she doesn't complain or groan about her circumstances. That is truly amazing to me and inspires me to face each day with a grateful heart as I intentionally focus my attention on the blessings the Lord has given me. I hope this will inspire you to do the same :)

Filling in the gaps...Agony or Ecstasy

Many times we face agonizing circumstances when we tend to want to do things our own way. We take our struggles and dilemmas into our own hands. Those are the times we can make our circumstances unbearable, just as the Israelites did in Judges 4:3 when the army of Sisera took over and oppressed them for 20 years.

The ecstasy of God comes in when we allow His eternal beams of light to shine into all our dreams, hopes and desires that we once thought were gone, as His unfailing love punctures into all the gaps in our hearts.

A few months ago it seemed like the enemy tried to surround my mind and thoughts with negativity and oppression, but God always reminded me of Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,” says the Lord.

Today share with those around you how they can live in Agony or Ecstasy by going against the will of the Lord...or following His leading.

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: Tina recently found out that the cancer has remained stable, I.e. it has not grown larger or smaller in size. We are thankful for that and continue to place our hope and trust in the Lord...no matter what. Please continue to pray for her energy levels as she is very fatigued and weak lately which has resulted in her falling several times...but if you know Tina you know that whenever she falls she gets right back up :)

Who Am I?

I recently had a friend that was upset and deeply disappointed and hurt because they were not invited to an event that they felt they should have been privy to.

I suppose as human beings we think we are number one! We constantly think of only ourselves. We want to feel like we are important. For us women, we want to be the prettiest and most stylish. For you men, you want to be the champions, the winners, associated with the elite and higher class.

Now back to the story about my friend. After a day of sulking and mulling over the situation, they finally spoke to Christ about changing their heart and outlook on the situation so as not to become bitter or angry....and Christ's response to them was "I'm not invited to many occasions to which I wish I could be invited to."

Well that seemed to end that conversation quickly and quietly. It quickly dissipated and suddenly an overwhelming peace came over my friend as they realized that the Lord of the Earth cared to know their name and feel their hurt (as it says in the song by Casting Crowns entitled "Who Am I").

Not because of who I am, but because of what You've done, Not because of what I've done, but because of who You are. I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow. A wave tossed in the ocean, a vapor in the wind...

I just thank God that regardless of what sin I commit, whether it be pride, anger or bitterness that He always watches over me. So who am I to feel that I have the right to feel like I should be privy to certain situations when my God isn't even invited? Although He is omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent He is not always called upon.

I pray that you will bring the struggles you are facing today to our Savior's attention and call upon Him for His forgiveness and help.

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron

Update: We have been doing better lately. Tina has had fewer large seizures over the summer and she is getting stronger with the help of some in-home occupational and physical therapy. We are so thankful for all your continued prayers and for the Lord's grace and strength He gives us each and every day that we call upon Him.

Current prayer needs: I am going back to work on Monday and Tina's mom will be going back home in 2 weeks. Tina hopefully will be receiving some support from a home health aide but that will only be for 1 hour a day. Please pray that Tina will continue to get stronger and more independent so that she can take care of herself during the day (going to the restroom, walking without falling, getting something to eat etc...). Please also pray for my family in Georgia as they are grieving the loss of my younger cousin Adam who recently died. I have so many wonderful memories of our childhood summers together and he will be missed dearly, although it warms my heart to know that he and my younger brother Jeremy are now hanging out in heaven.

Uniquely Yours

A while back Aaron and I watched a cooking show called "Food Network Star". At the end of the show the judges consider all the chefs and their abilities and ultimately who is the chef that will move on from the panel of competing chefs.

Apparently we missed the beginning of the episode where each of the chefs presented their "style" of what their cooking show might look like. At the end of the show one of the judges commented to one of the chefs that they weren't really sure who the "genuine person" of this chef truly was considering that he portrayed one personality on stage (a rapper) and a different one when presenting his dish in a casual outside environment, i.e. he was a different person. Upon being questioned, it seemed he had struggled with this same issue his entire life. Of "who he truly was" he mentioned that he didn't genuinely know who he truly was as an individual.

In Psalm 139:14, David writes "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...". You see, God wove us together before the beginning of the Earth; all of our days were ordained for us; however, we must choose what Romans 12:2 says by not "conforming" to what we think this world wants us to be for we were created to be unique. Allow God to transform you into the unique, wonderful and individual person He created you to be (Psalm 139).

Don't allow yourself to conform to what you feel others want or to what others perceive that you should be. If you live your life in this way you'll always feel as if you have a void that you need to feel.

For you are one of a kind. You are special. You are unique. Only you can be you. When you deny who you were truly made to be, you deny God the opportunity to shape you to be "uniquely yours" in a powerful and mighty way.

Share your unique talents and gifts with others today. Maybe then they can discover their own unique and individual selves and not feel as though they have to conform to the ways of this world.

Update: Tina has been doing a little better overall the past few weeks, e.g. less seizures and fewer symptoms but she still struggles with very limited mobility, weakness and other cognitive/physical difficulties. I am writing this, Tina is getting chemo at MDA. We just got the results today that the cancer has remained stable, i.e. it hasn't regressed or progressed. We were hoping that it would have regressed more but at the end of the day we remember that Tina's health and life are in the hands of her Healer and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Composed by Tina and typed by Aaron