Winsome

Day 13 of my radiation vacation was the day before yesterday (May 16th). I had to truly learn as someone once expressed..."To win some you must be winsome." As this past weekend came and went...I learned you win some, you lose some, but in the end, winsome, should be the outcome of the matter.

I learned the drawing power of humility within myself and had my best friends there to speak into the matter. I felt the power of the words in Proverbs 18:4, where it says that a person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook. Also, the true meaning of ...but a real friend sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). This past Saturday, I felt almost as if my prayers had failed, my heart seemed broken-hearted, the places where they have been "zapping" their beaming lasers on my head, my hair has fallen out. On Saturday, I grieved over the matter and then had my best friends there to comfort me with their words of encouragement. God's word says, "you can make many plans, but the LORD'S purpose will prevail. (Proverbs 19:21). God always has a bigger plan, I thought to myself (selfishly) :), maybe my hair may just come back even more beautiful and better than ever. LOL.

Since this past weekend, even more of my hair has fallen out...more than when they shaved my head for my original surgery in March of 2009. (Thank you Aaron for being such a wonderful and supporting husband in this matter). I think this all came as a shock (at first) to me because my expectation and thought process was different than when I went into surgery. When I went into surgery, I expected a portion of my hair to be shaved off, but going into radiation I didn't think that my hair would basically be burnt off. :) If you've ever had your hair singed either with a flat iron or curling iron (ladies) because it was too hot and/or you held it on their for too long or with flame from a fire (gentlemen)...that is what it is like. Except for the fact that it comes out in chunks singed together and in my case (praise God I have thick hair) lots of chunks, but it doesn't smell like typical burnt hair.

I love what the author Selwyn Hughes says, "The real ornament of life which is precious in the sight of God is a meek and quiet spirit." As I went into my radiation appointment on Monday, God spoke to me in my spirit to tell the therapist a few words, I humbled myself by telling the radiation therapist that he was right about my hair falling out. As I spoke that to the therapist, something in my spirit rose up and said "but what a small sacrifice that is to pay, Tina. A temporary sacrifice, for a long life of great health, joy, and being cancer free is what will be!" Speaking those words to that therapist gave me a sense of relief, in a sense that I felt I no longer had to feel as though I had to somehow justify myself and my stance to him...for his prior experiences had some validation to them (brain cancer patients hair falls out with radiation). Maybe this experience will open up opportunities for me to speak God's life giving words to him? God's plans are always greater than my little mind can ever fathom.

Today remember that God always has a bigger plan and purpose for you, His plans will always prevail. They will all work out for your good. Be a great friend today by speaking life giving words to those around you, humble yourself, for humility precedes honor, and remember temporary sacrifices may be difficult in the moment, but they are repaid a million times over in the end.