Monday, April 25, 2011

Chapter 3...A New Beginning

For here lies an added chapter to the journey that God begun. On Friday we went to the consultation for the radiation oncologist and as expected, they did recommend that I receive radiation as my next step.

Even though, I have been hesitant of this process, God has reassured me and been there time and time again; therefore, I know that this is where I am to be.

For many, I hope and pray that yesterday (Resurrection day) was an eye opening experience. I pray that because Jesus rose again, it assured you that the LORD will fulfill all He has promised.

Over the past couple of years, I have learned how important it is to to read the Word, to know that promises that it holds. I have learned that if you don't know what God has promised you, then how is it that you can know what He wants for your life? If you know God's Word and His promises, then you can gain hope and encouragement in knowing that God's word does not lie. It is truth and no matter how hard the enemy tries to combat the truth by filling your head with doubt and thoughts that don't line up with God's word, you don't have to receive it, for when you read and know His word, it is then that you can have peace!

I have confessed and stood on many scriptures and promises that God has made me. In Hebrews 10:23 it says, "Let us hold fast to the confession of hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful." Jesus death on the cross signifies that He bore our sins AND our sicknesses. Isaiah 53:5 says, "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed." In Dodie Osteen's book, "Healed of Cancer," she explains how anything that causes you heartache, whether it be poverty, oppression, depression, pain, or suffering, that Jesus bore all of that on the cross; therefore, there is no need for us to bear it. We must cast our cares upon Christ and let him know that what we may be going through is overwhelming at times, but that we thank him for taking away our sicknesses and heartaches.

"For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds (Jeremiah 30:17)" God has promised to restore my health [and yours]. There has been many times, especially over the past two weeks, where I have had symptoms (seizures, nausea, dizziness, and tingling in my face) that have caused me to doubt [in my head, not my heart] that I am completely and totally healed. This scripture continues to remind me of God's sovereignty over my life. In those moments I also find strength in God's word by saying, "Let the weak say I am strong (Joel 3:10).

Lately, I have had to battle with fear. When I met with the neurooncologist and they performed their usual, routine neurological examinations and questioned me about my recent health. I knew that I wasn't functioning where I was supposed to be. I could see it on the nurse practioner's face, that things were not good. Also, when I met with the radiation oncologist, she basically told me that the benefits of conducting the radiation, outweighed the risks; whatever those risks entailed, she was basically telling me that it didn't matter. That brought some doubts and fears into my mind. She gave me a laundry list (at least it seemed that way to me) of "possible" early and late "reactions" (a.k.a. side effects).

I have now used what the enemy meant for evil and turned it to good. I see the "list" as a powerful weapon on what to exactly I can pray against. I have prayed against each of those side effects on that list! I have chosen to meditate on scriptures like, "It is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure (Phillipians 2:13)." "With long life, I will satisfy you and give you my salvation (Psalm 91:16).

These words are what encourage my heart and give me hope that God will fulfill all that He has promised me. I remind him on a daily basis, that of which he has promised. Not so much because he doesn't know or has forgotten, but more so to remind myself and to encourage myself of what I have to look forward to.

On Thursday (April 28th) at 9 a.m., I will begin my "new beginning," for I know that God will use this radiation treatment for my good. I know that He is purposeful in his actions and that with God's word firmly established in me...I cannot be shaken!

I pray that today you find God's promises for you in His word. Look up scriptures to help you be a fighter in your faith! Find particular scriptures that apply to your specific situation that you are trying to conquer. Allow God's word to encourage your heart, to bring you peace, and more than anything hope that "this too shall pass."

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